I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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