Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
