Kiss
Puke
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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