Will you blow on my dice?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
