Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
