And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
