WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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