I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
