He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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