my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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