I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
