end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
