I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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