I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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