help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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