you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize