just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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