so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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