matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
