I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
babies were throwing up all over the place
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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