listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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