It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
