the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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