I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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