Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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