On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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