So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.