hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
