so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
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Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
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wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.