It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
