Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
