I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
