why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize