please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
a search helicopter?!
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
