so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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