Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
