Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
