i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
