i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
