she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
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