i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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