I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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