Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
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Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
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Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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