you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
