bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
