Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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