Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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