saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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