either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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