I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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