Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
