I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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