So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
