i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
