You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
