my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
