You work out of a Hotel?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize