So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Dick very happy bro
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
