that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I lost the right to judge tonight
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
