he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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