Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
