So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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